#stayinspired, Christian, life

saved

God’s love can save me and you and all of us.

Love matters most.

Sometimes faithlessness is a choice.

I wrote these words in August after a bout with depression.

It’s interesting, how some problems don’t die but appear again and again, in different forms. Depression feels like a pinhole of light shuts, trapping you in darkness. Maybe it felt like Joseph watching the light fade as he tumbled into the cistern.

In the end, I prayed. I knew that if God can save us from anything, then maybe he could save from depression, too. It was a weird depression: not so chronic as severe. I didn’t have strength to be alive.

Love is the beginning and end. God can save us because he loves us. That is what you realize when he saves you.

This time, I felt even more aware that some of my suffering was my fault. You see, my depression could be traced, partially, to a very specific fear — even a realistic fear, which made it all the more terrifying. But there were some things I was doing to feed the fear. I knew what they were, and I didn’t want to stop. So that’s what made me think that faithlessness is a choice. If there’s something you know you shouldn’t be doing, listening to, watching, checking. You’ll know.

I hope this wasn’t overly dramatic; it’s just a story of my most recent trouble with depression. I hope you stay safe and inspired and choose faithfulness, and that I do too.

All for now,

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