Well, it appears I’ve cut off the other part. I’m not sure about you, but I’m going to be honest: lately, i’ve been going through extreme stress and anxiety.
It happens like this.
God blesses me! I’ve done something good! God’s allowed it to become FAR more wonderful than I could dream of. As you all know, I’ve started a photography business (website here, i have yet to think of blog articles for it :/) and I had my first photoshoot on Saturday.
It went amazing. I had a great time with the model (who is a beautiful and kind friend of mine!) and the pictures turned out excellently. Now I’ve got half of them uploaded on my computer, my editor broke down, my new bank account won’t work to buy a new one, and stress is gnawing at me every step I take.
I want to create beautiful things, inspire people, and share God’s love. I want to have a beautiful website and IG and for it to look aesthetic, clear, colorful, my style is defined, and original and–it seems like every single time I think about that, I’m seized with anxiety–what if I’m forgetting something? What if I’m procrastinating? Most of all, what if I’m doing sloppy work and losing followers and–
The list gets higher and higher. I’ve tried reading my Bible (today I might watch anime) but what is the lesson to be learned from all this?
I’ve had trouble.
“Look at the birds of the air: They do not sow or reap or gather into barns—and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” matthew 6:27
I’ve always loved this passage in Matthew. I’ll admit: lately I’ve been worried even about those words. God says he’ll feed us and clothe us, but what about the other things in life? Like my grades, friendships, work, relationship, family, business–how is he going to take care of all those things?
From this, I think two things can help.
–> God says “Are you not much more valuable than they?” and, earlier, “So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”
God does provide for our physical needs, but what He’s saying here is he also provides for us. Not just our food, but our lives. Why? Because we’re valuable. And because we’re valuable, he has a plan for our lives.
Sometimes we just have to trust that the God of the entire universe has a purpose for us. You. Me. And if the God of the entire universe has a purpose for you, what other reasons do you need to live?
–> Speaking of sparrows, I just want to say I find it–I’ll say beautiful–how Jesus notices little things, like sparrows or flowers. These are everywhere.
I’ve said it before, but noticing those little things in life can provide peace. You need Jesus to fully appreciate them, but even if your day is bad, you’re tired, your family is bickering, you can still notice little things. I noticed a large stinkbug-cicadea hybrid? (I swear, bugs these days are getting stranger and stranger) and a sunflower growing by someone’s mailbox. It’s the first sunflower I’ve seen this year. I smiled at a fellow grocery shopper who smiled back. There were bright, puffy clouds in the sky today. We also have some shiny red, blue and white ribbon by my desk.
And I’m thankful for words–the ability to write these things down–and the Internet–the ability to share them. I’m also thankful for water. Cool water energized me: water, something so simple, is so helpful.
I’m going to either do a little more work now, or watch anime. Distractions aren’t bad, but you need to know when to stop.
And if you feel anxious, make a list of little things, even things right next to you, that make you happy. (I need to do a list of that later). If that fails, just writing to God about how you feel helps.
I’m so happy God’s provided. There’s a purple sock next to my keyboard right now. If he provided this purple sock and cold water, he’s definitely going to provide for my schoolwork and my business and my friends.